counseling for so many years, I found a particularly obvious regularity. Parents, the more strong, the more the child’s marriage is not easy to happiness.
there are too many real cases tell us. Originally just a pair of young couple, happiness after, simple and pure, although I have problems, but some sesame big tiff, tend to be the end of the bed and quarrel with the head of a bed.
however, many parents are always between unconsciously, to care for children and good for the child as an excuse, talking to yourself is too much to participate in the matter of the couple’s marriage, have to figure out how the problem of small and is black and white, and finally the little couple things, in the family, even the family big contradiction between sons and daughters in-law.
in many a second-tier cities, in particular, because many children can’t afford to buy a house, need to live with your parents. So after getting married, and the role of both parents in marriage is particularly greatly. Especially if met a strong mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be humbled, always feel they are outsiders, unable to get one of the most basic marriage freedom and personal space. Daughter-in-law, even if again run into a strong mom, so even a small problem into a TV series. Thus, make again small life problem, will become not too good of our marriage.
actually, in our real life, such cases. Which recently seek help from my lady’s story, is a very typical to share. Selected below the letter from ms leaf sharing is as follows:
my name is Ye Xiaoqian, 38 years old, is a middle-level cadres of state-owned Banks. When he was young, my idea is very simple. Just think marriage is two people who love each other together in life, as long as no contradiction between husband and wife, can treat each other sincerely, there will be no any problem.
but as the growth of the age, more and more, I found that their views are very naive. In fact, the real marriage are two family things, as long as does not keep pace with two families, husband and wife relationship is again good also no use.
take of my husband and I, for instance. Both of us are only children at home, are parents so much since I was a child, in life don’t have their own ideas and talent. So, after we get married, a lot of big and small family things, are both sides of the parents in running the for us. So, also not completely is we are not independent, but a lot of time on both sides of the old man is very care about this. I’m afraid, is not afraid of toil, we wouldn’t let me.
here is my family, my father and mother are all used to be the top executives of state-owned enterprises. On our side is also prominent. Their standard of living has been not low, even my mother now retired, retirement pay is very high.
but, my husband home side, although with the city, but it is just a very ordinary family, the home also is the basic food and clothing. So, we two families on the living habits and patterns, itself to have conflicts. Not who must to who wrong, but after all the material conditions or influence a lot of things. So the two of us home will often because some matters of the material and money conflict.
in fact, before we were married, my mother also seem to see the problem, this is he was firmly opposed to the primary reason why I marry the husband. My mother character is straight, again afraid I later follow bear hardships, so was still somewhat contradictory. But, my mother-in-law is a no culture, but also RenSiLi woman. A lot of things like pull, but again not reasonable.
so, over the years, the old man on both sides of the hard to avoid some unhappy because of some little things, are accumulated in the in the mind to each other.
let contradictions finally came true because of two things. My husband and I advice is to let nature take its course, but not importune. But my mother has been a very hope I can regeneration. My mother-in-law is against, however, afraid of us too much pressure, on the other hand, she may not willing to help us with the children.
and then, after the Spring Festival, conflicts broke out. Her mother-in-law said that my mother is a dog rats meddling, born not born are they of the house of song dynasty. My mom a listen to very angry, and said she had the right to ask his daughter. She not only let I was born, and also have to tell my family name is the birth of her baby. As for raising questions, she will be responsible for it. All in all, both of them is the most quick to talk to each other. Finally, the trot, moving up his hand.
this thing after the busy, drove us both parents to divorce. Unless the other party first came to apologize. And most important, my husband influenced by soft, hoping to hear his mama of, is determined to fight back this tone for his mother. Things like this till now, I don’t know what to do, feeling very tired very tired. If it is not because there is a child, I really left drank them. Ms read
leaf story, how you feel? Such as parents in your side also had caused strong marital conflict situation? Strong your parents? Is there any affect the affection between you husband and wife and family conflicts? You are welcome to comment. (articles from the wind: the sky always blue)