Spring Festival last year, he and I were married, we didn’t get a marriage certificate, just according to their custom of shaanxi rural held a simple wedding, the wedding seems to be no too big relations with us, more like upon completion of his parents’ a mission in life, all the folks and friends and relatives are all present their testimony.
we were discussing how back there wedding, he also agreed, but he has repeatedly urged, home later we were back. To me, the wedding is a ceremony, to be exact, is more like a I was present but nothing in the form of associated with me.
wedding very hasty, I knew before I go to will be very hard, but I didn’t think should be so bitter.
this picture from the network
in order to catch time, let’s fly to xianyang, then spent more than an hour from xianyang airport to xi ‘an.
from xi ‘an to get on the bus, I will struggle to say with him: & other; No, I don’t go, I’ll go home. Throughout the &;
he heard these words of mine, very worry, constantly advised me: & other; Do you think you are in xi ‘an, the whole family are looking forward to your back, you stick to insist, again will arrive soon. Throughout the &;
although I heart of thousands or not, eventually follow, on that day to their city the last bus.
we took more than three hours of car from xi ‘an, finally arrived in the city.
when it was dark, now, tired, we found that while running after all the way, still missed the last bus to his home.
helpless, we are going to a hotel to stay in the city at night, go back the next day, he later dad know, TuoShou people looking for a car take us back overnight.
my home is in suzhou local, family condition is good, as far as I’m a child in the home, usually didn’t eat anything. Before leaving, although prepare already, but the jolt all, or almost let me crash.
to their village after, I found that they lived in halfway up the hill, the middle, the middle of nowhere, a mountain is a family, they pushed the door open is mountains and trees, the mountain is his father a walnut.
his parents are specifically said to me, & other; In order to have you come back to have a place to live, loan bought a house at the middle, is a family has moved out of private houses. Throughout the &;
the house looks very beautiful, but inside there is not even a decent bathroom, toilet, bath is very inconvenient.
is his mom and dad specially to tidy up to our room, his brother and sister-in-law has come back from other place to attend our wedding ceremony, they live in the room even haven’t had time to pack the Windows, especially cold in winter.
listen to he said the house is very good, they used to live in a house at the top of the hill, the whole top of the mountain is only the old house, their house water electricity is especially convenient.
his sister-in-law said to me, & other; The year before and his brother’s home for the first time, they also live on the top of the mountain, home of the back that morning she washed his head, and no hair dryer, so the hair didn’t dry it out, the result was frozen pulp are down the mountain back hair. Throughout the &;
although his family economic condition is very poor, the wedding is also very simple, but the human is very thick, the wedding ceremony, the relatives and friends for eat and drink for two days. Open up in the morning on the third day, we began to ready to leave.
when he left, his mother be reluctant to say to me: & other; Our family is very poor, nothing can give you. Throughout the &;
their family is very simple, sincere, I was moved.=I was touched.
in fact at that time my family is against me, and he married, after all, family circumstances vary a lot, level of education is also different, and the nature of work is not the same.
I’m not telling the family secretly and he go back to the wedding, until recently, home talent gradually began to accept.
although the family on the surface to accept him, but I still can’t often take him home to. We pay attention to too many things in the home, eat dinner a lot of attention to, even the toilet also is, my parents and my grandparents are separated. I’m afraid he carelessly give to bring home the usual habits. I party with my friends also can’t take him.
every time think of now, I am also very worried, I think, later won’t take him back to my house to live, that means he will have to buy a house, and then I moved to live, because my family will sooner or later all don’t like him.
but he said later in here to buy a house, to parents took care of him, I am strongly disagree, I along with his parents certainly not good.
I also know that I have to complain about his heart, once told me he was drunk: & other; If it weren’t for my mom pestering me, hurried out, I will together with you? Lo you that virtue, not look down upon my family, is to belittle me and my family. Throughout the &;
we also often quarrel with each other because of all sorts of things in life, usually separate on a week or two, the night, we will cries from the room, take into tears of HSS roar, brawl, slam the door, the battlefield can sometimes be transferred to the sitting room, bathroom, and even neighborhood. Sometimes, the war will be the end of the night, sometimes until the next day, or permeates the whole weekend.
the surrounding neighbors have become accustomed to, they even said: behind & throughout; Quarrel is their relationship, which day don’t noisy don’t normal! Throughout the &;
and I am in the quarrel with his long, began to slowly lose the confidence to go together.
then, we decided to split up, everyone think that the reason we separated because of improper door is wrong.
in my understanding, more suitable refers to material conditions and family background. In the past, individual women are hard to independence from family or family to seek development, choose suitable, to the marriage of two people based on the two families, can be protected by the corresponding to a certain extent.
things are different now, people under the high speed flow between urban and rural, the effect of family background seems to be down, everyone can be realized through normal channels of employment seems to be financially independent, but the marriage of two people still escapes the contradiction of the differences between the native family brings.
from the ideal state, the younger generation should be live a independent family life, the marriage of two people should not be affected by too much and the interference of the family, but it is difficult to implement in real life.
two people from different regions, different families, in the different family education and under the influence of regional culture, will produce different cognition and personality. Although population movements let people seem to have more choice, but we are still be classify, and different categories of people even if meet, is difficult to live together.
like flow, are actually curing, new age & other; Suitable & throughout; Thus produced.
as a result, this pair of the invisible hand, always affects the marriage of two people choose and the life intravenous drip.
this article reprinted from phoenix: hot peppers tribal