Woman reality tells: I forgive the people who rape me

guide language: forgive themselves a rape? Crazy? However, it is really happening & ndash; & ndash; Britain’s Joe & middot; Noordin, the raped women at work to GRAZIA recently revealed she meet with the rapist. Forgive sinners in order to release yourself.

in this paper, the parties Joe & middot; Noordin (Jo Nodding)

it happened in November 2004, at that time I was 32 years old, in the north of England a school when the teacher. Exactly when the crime happened at the noon hour and I was alone in the classroom, the other teachers are the main teaching building. Scott came in. He is a only 12 years old students, I just met with him several times, without any signs that he is a dangerous person. But tell me everything happened in a few minutes, he is quite harmless & ndash; & ndash; Suddenly he put me down on the floor, and he stand the position of the obvious are carefully selected, to ensure his in violation of my at the same time also can consider to whether anyone come in. I’m desperate to resist, he ruthlessly beating me, look very fierce, I had thought he was dying. Done, he doesn’t say a word, away from the classroom. I immediately grabbed the phone called the police, crying loudly & other; Please come and help me & throughout; .

in the next few hours for me is too terror and suffering. The police informed my husband, mike, but because of my clothes are evidence, so mike comes, I can’t even hold him for comfort. The evening Scott was arrested by the police, but he denied to abuse my behavior. Until a month later, when the police take DNA evidence than to find him, he had to admit it.

in the future for a period of time, I were dead. I dare not go out, don’t want to see anyone. I feel to go out once, once someone look at me, I was naked in front of the man, there is no privacy. Because I malicious invasion, the school has stopped my class. My husband can only comfort me. He felt very helpless, and at the same time sad because no can protect my remorse.

after the three and a half months, the court heard the case. I feel this is a chance I do back in his own. I applied for a present, want to let him see me, I’m here, want to tell him, living well. When Scott’s eyes and I’m on, he looked away first & ndash; & ndash; I overcame him on imposing manner. Finally, he was suspended in the youth to the endless innovation. But, when the judge told Scott & other; You have destroyed the woman’s life & throughout; , I very not easy to regain the courage and strength are the unintentional word thoroughly smash. & have spent

I spend method can also be difficult to forget the past. Then I moved out of the town, to the other school work. But anyway back to less than before. In the five years later, when the officer responsible and I keep in touch with me about the latest development of Scott, and by & other Restorative justice & throughout; I know maybe it is a way to help me out. (editor’s note: restorative justice of criminal crime through the side of the crime and murder to establish a relationship of dialogue between parties, with criminal responsibility actively eliminate the conflict, from the deep resolve contradictions, and through the participation of community and other relevant aspects, repair the damaged social relations of an alternative justice activities.)

but my husband can’t understand why do I stay in the same room and Scott. He thought I was purely a waste of time, Scott is not worth me to do so. But on the contrary, I think this is a chance, I would tell him to my thoughts and feelings, let him know he to me and my family has caused much damage. I want him to know he clearly what did for me and my husband.

the whole process is very complicated. I’ll have to accept an interview, in order to make sure that I do is for that reason: is to do a settlement rather than to attack him. When Scott agreed to meet with me (the meeting must obtain the consent of the perpetrators), I was in tears. Four years passed, and I finally began to back to my original life. I admit that I was nervous, but very firm. I can’t escape from him again, I must face him.

meet that day I have to calm unexpectedly. There is a restorative justice program staff to accompany with us. Scott and I looked at each other, and soon he seems obvious grew up, and his eyes full of fear. This with my mind that strange materialized Scott don’t fit.

after take a deep breath, I quietly to Scott about what he had done. I was the first thing & other; Very thank you can come to the meeting. Throughout the &; Later, when I speak I think he is going to kill me, he suddenly began to cry. I tell him: & other; If you get married, I hope you don’t ever my husband experience these. If you have a daughter, I hope you never feel my father’s feelings. Throughout the &; These words I have to practice for hours in front of will, when I will they speak quietly, I feel I am regained strength and courage.

totally unexpected is, he said to me the sound & other; I’m sorry & throughout; , a very light but very sincere & other I’m sorry & throughout; . It is this voice & other; I’m sorry & throughout; Let me feel my life can finally back on track. I went to see him, is want to tell him that I no longer is his victims of violence, but a living person.

the meeting lasted an hour and a half. He looks like a frightened little boy & ndash; & ndash; At the time, is the role of victims and perpetrators, now he is the one without resistance. Rape of fear, anxiety and pain of body and mind, finally drifting away. Five years later, I finally get rid of these occupy my mind for years of anger and pain.

the end of the meet, I tell him: & other; I forgive you, hope you can forgive yourself. Throughout the &; Scott incredible looked at me and then said, crying & other; I thought you would be screaming at me to shout. Throughout the &; I answer: & other; You raped me, you can’t change this fact. Shouting for the two of us what good? Throughout the &; He and I said the sound & other; I wish you good luck & throughout; After he got up and walked out of the room with a smile.

in the next few weeks, I feel those who have been bothering me uncomfortable and pain disappeared. For Scott, or for life, I no longer fear.

my husband to get a sense of my change, I become confident, most importantly, I began to pick up the taste of happiness. (the figures are not his real name)