I earn one hundred thousand yuan a year for daughter-in-law still can’t satisfy her
net friend letter:
I’m 54 years old, is the head of a small company, business has been good. I have a son, he was 30 years old this year. Since the childhood because I work are all busy, so for his negligence. At that time thought that as long as give him enough money, this is the best way to love him. Because is an only child, so the son to want what, I also is for what.
son just graduated from college, but he is not independent. Can’t solve problems by themselves, not to find a job to support myself, I want to find no money, most of the time is to play outside. Two years ago, I think her son get married, have a son home may understand a little. I wanna personally through chose a woman, her gentle, hard-working, but also beautiful, I’m very pleased with her. So think of let her married son. Son also keen to her, this is the good news.
I arrange for them to get married, but still married son did not change, still find me for money, not to find a job, loafing around all day. Will have better thought after they got married, son, but the result is still the same. Married less than half a year, their feelings will more and more bad, don’t understand, because son daughter-in-law always said he, has evolved into a quarrel every day, the son also often don’t go home. In order to let the son to keep the wife, I told him that if not good wife, I will stop the vice card in his hand, the son was honest.
in order to keep daughter-in-law, I especially good temper to her, a month also QiBaQian living to her, let her excuse me. Daughter-in-law is really good, the home care in perfect orderly, and very take care of his son. Was like this for more than a year of time, daughter-in-law decided to divorce. Because not be persuaded still don’t family, son also began to hit her. She cried and ran and told me that you wanted a divorce, I apologize to her son, but the son is not obedient, also said the daughter-in-law ugly words in front of me. Under the helpless, I agreed to their divorce.
after the divorce, she gave me a gift: a bouquet of flowers, and $thirty thousand, and wrote me a letter. She said money can’t buy happiness, that I don’t spoil the son. After she left, I opened the letter.
mom, thank you agreed with me and his divorce. I loved your son, but he is really disappointing. Thirty thousand dollars is my the rest of the cost of living every month, thank you for giving me rich life. I know you love your son very much, but you’re in the wrong way. Money can’t bring back human conscience, are you afraid of his injury, so to protect him well, but that will only make him more and more dependent on you. If you have time to listen to your son’s voice, he don’t need your money, but you care about and love & hellip; & hellip;
finish see letter, look at the flowers, as well as thirty thousand dollars, my tears, I found that I really fail. In order to maintain the son’s marriage, in order to keep daughter-in-law, I even use money to buy off the heart.
a month after the divorce son, daughter-in-law my heart guilty decision to apologize. When she saw me some surprise. I found her face is not very good, I asked her if she is uncomfortable. She laughed and said, nothing. Then she vomit up, and suddenly my head flashed a words: pregnancy. I asked her if she is pregnant? She a face of surprise also take some fear and looked at me. I suggest to send her to go to a hospital checking, she started some evade a said not to go, I say unto thee bad or good said she didn’t agree. After checking to the hospital, the doctor said the daughter-in-law is pregnant, and my heart suddenly have a stream of warm current. But when I saw the daughter-in-law’s expression, I just know she is not happy, but some of the feeling of anxiety and overwhelmed.
I know the child must be son, so I said to daughter-in-law wanted her to put the child was born. Daughter-in-law is very hesitant, because her face is sad. I know she worried that without a complete home after the child is born, the worry is not a competent father. I don’t know how to comfort daughter-in-law, I would not give her a promise. I had a long chat and daughter-in-law, until she says she won’t abort the child temporarily, I didn’t leave. I think a good talk to son home, I hope he can be aware of their responsibility, hope he can and daughter-in-law together again & hellip; & hellip;
that day, I’m going to and the son said, daughter-in-law pregnant, didn’t think he doesn’t care, but also stretch out his hand to me for money, I said him a lesson. But he was still grinning let me hurry to give him the money, I’m looking at her son, and this I found is the culprit. Teacher xia, I don’t know how to refuse to son, don’t give him money, I’m afraid of his toil. Give him the money, I’m afraid he’ll never understand. I know I’m selfish, but I hope daughter-in-law can put the child was born. What shall I do?
summer mo re:
some well-meaning parents, is the child’s dependence, not independent. There are part of the reason is that parents, for fear of the child toil, so for children, cause they don’t handle the problem by themselves and live independently.
money is not everything, not enough money, to the child gave him everything. Dote on your son too much, when love become spoil, you arranged everything for him, he will be dependent on you. Your son is not looking for a job, all day, because he had not experienced setbacks, do not know the hardships of life. He knows that even if he doesn’t work, you will also keep on him.
even the son of the marriage, is with you. Because of her son’s don’t understand, you in order to keep daughter-in-law, you give her money for living expenses, let her excuse me your son, this is you to spoil the son. In fact most of the time, what do you want to listen to his idea, only know what he wants, let him use power to pursue, let him understand the various difficult, he’ll have the independent ability, will know how to cherish and gratitude.
daughter-in-law to be able to send you flowers, when divorce and letter give you thirty thousand dollars, you can see she is a good woman. She know you is not easy, not to blame you and son, also help you to see his son’s question. If you want to daughter-in-law the child born let his son take responsibility. Your son has such performance, you also want to reflect on. Is you, give you the following Suggestions:
a, son you want to become independent, so from now on, refused to his son to spend money, to support him to go to work, let him to go to effort, give him enough space to taste life. Don’t protect him too well. Let him learn to bear, learn to suffer, only in this way, he can grow up.
2, learn to reflect on themselves, in the right way to love son. For less money, to try not to give him the cost of living, more listen to inner voice son, more praise less complain, encourage more for less money. Want to change, he’ll be more concerned about him, encourage him more.
three, let son and daughter-in-law to the child’s problem, not to help your son to discuss or communicate, respect the daughter-in-law’s decision. If can’t give children a good living environment, I hope you don’t importune daughter-in-law decision.
4, don’t take money to solve the problems of the relationship, because it won’t solve. Emotional problems, to solve.