If you do not understand a man’s psychology, but also how to fall in love?

Have you ever thought about it?

Why does not your love go well?

Why is your relationship so bad?

Why are you always very confused in the workplace?

Why are you so hard to be really happy?

In fact, all of this, because you are not enough to understand yourself, but also feel the minds of others, if you can understand the point of psychology, what else? Your love will go a lot easier, your career will continue to improve, deal with relationships, family relations and much more.

1 “may seem perfect lover, in fact, he is incompetent love”

Love incompetent people do not necessarily have to stay single, and may not necessarily exclude romantic relationships. Their real “incompetence” is that they refuse to communicate and communicate with others in depth. They just want to stay in the shallow touch.

Although they have no love for others, those who love incompetence are not the same people who often say “dregs” and “dregs”. They are good people so that they can not be easily identified by their problems and may even be Many people as perfect lover.

– “Those who love incompetence, all have these five characteristics”

2 “Communication should not harbor the trauma of the past, it is light, can shine into life.”

When I feel I do not want to care about you, do not want to reply to you, because at that moment, I most need to take care of and concern is my own. I have not dealt with the emotions, thoughts, can not be temporarily out to care about people and things beyond me, I need to get myself.

– “Why did not I reply you to WeChat? ”

3 “The other half that gives you satisfaction is something you can accustomize”

Some people say that lying too many times, they will believe it. I think it is appropriate to put this phrase in marriage. When you are willing to recognize each other more actively and comprehensively, that view of him will gradually become true.

If you are willing to categorize the other half as “the most promising person”, with enthusiasm and hope, encouragement and affirmation, beautiful changes may happen at any time.

– “Will” lie “long before the love”

4 “measure the standard of friendship: be willing to encourage you when you are bottoming out and willing to offer your blessing when you stand high.”

From your own point of view, you are trying to run straight forward. The person who truly deserves to be a friend not only applauds you, but also absorbs the light, heat and strength from you and strives to keep up with you.

We do not have a thousand eyes and eyes and are limited in their horizons. However, dealing with different people to make friends is equivalent to giving birth to more helpers and more eyes, leaving us no longer alone and no longer neglecting The blind spot of life.

– “I have a really LV, but can only say that A cargo”

5 “Too much exposure to your privacy becomes the burden on others, but also a self-cultivation.”

Regardless of each other’s wishes regardless of the relationship between sparsely and indifferent to all the way down to confessed his past life, not only for their own non-restraint, but also the disrespect of others, essentially the same as interfering in other people’s lives because you occupy others without any explanation Time and energy even affect the mood of others.

– “Do not dare to come near you because you exposed too much.”

 

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How the world’s top psychologists look at life

1 No jokes, all jokes have serious ingredients.

2 Mental health of people, always hard work and love. As long as these two things can be done, there is no other problem.

3 no mouth mistakes this matter, all the errors are subconsciously true disclosure.

4 There are two tragedies in life: one is that you did not get what you love, and the other is what you love.

There are two things in life: one is that you do not get what you love, so you can seek and create. The other is to get what you love so you can taste and experience.

5 There is no one without reason, can accept reason.

Alfred Adler

Austrian psychiatrist. The founder of individual psychology, a pioneer of humanistic psychology, the father of modern self-psychology. He followed Freud on neurotic problems, but also the first person within the psychoanalysis to oppose Freud.

1 People who are not interested in others, most of the difficulties encountered in his life, the greatest harm to others. All human failures are caused by such people.

The courage to deal with various issues in life shows how one can define the meaning of life.

Each of us has different degrees of inferiority, because we all want to make ourselves better and make ourselves live a better life.

3 When a person encounters problems that can not be solved, they are convinced that they can show inferiority when they can solve them.

4 world is very simple, life is the same. It is not the complexity of the world, but the complexity of the world.

5 No one lives in an objective world, and we all live in a subjective world that we each give their meaning to.

Carl Gustav Jung

Swiss psychologist. In 1907, he began to work with Freud to develop and popularize the theory of psychoanalysis for six years. Afterward, he discredited the concept of Freud and went so far as to establish Jung’s theory of personality analysis psychology. His theories and thoughts still exert far-reaching influence on psychology research.

1 A person’s life-long efforts, is to integrate his character since childhood has been formed.

2 lonely does not come from no one around. The real reason to feel lonely is because one can not communicate with others the most important feelings about it.

3 Be patient with this incomplete world and do not overestimate your own perfection.

4 The overcoming of the strongest conflicts gives us a sense of stability and transcendence of security and tranquility. What is needed to achieve a beneficial and lasting psychological security and tranquility is the huge explosion of such intense conflicts.

5 Each of the things that prompt us to notice others makes us better understand ourselves.

6 The number of nights in a year is the same as the number of days, and lasts as long. Even if happy life has its dark brush strokes, there is no “sad” to provide a balance, “happy” will lose its meaning. Be patient and calmly accept changes in the world, is the best way to do things.

7 Creation does not come from intelligence, but comes from the instinct of the game stemming from its inner needs. Creative minds play with the objects they love.

8 For any business, to change it must first accept it. Condemnation will not be liberated, but only oppression.

9 The way we look at things, not the things themselves, determines everything.

Erich Fromm

American German Jewish. Humanistic philosopher and psychoanalytic psychologist. Devoted all his life to revising Freud’s psychoanalytic theory in order to meet the Westerners’ mental state after the two world wars. His theory of psychoanalysis has an influence on the world.

1 Quietly sit fifteen minutes a day, listen to your breath, feel it, feel yourself, and try to do nothing.

2 love has nothing to do with maturity. If you do not work hard to develop all your personality, then every endeavor of love will fail. If you do not love the power of others, and you can not love others humbly, sincerely and disciplinedly, Life will never be satisfied.

3 If I love others, I should feel consistent with him, and accept his true colors. Instead of asking him to be what I want so that I can use him as a target of use.

4 The most important thing is to learn to be alone, without reading, not listening to radio, not smoking, not drinking. There is no ability to focus on whether you can stand alone, and this ability is a condition to learn to love.

Because we can not be self-reliant, we can only connect ourselves with another person. This person may be the savior of my life, but the relationship has nothing to do with love.

5 Love is not, first of all, the relationship of the same particular person; it is an attitude, a tendency of character. This attitude, personality tendencies determine a person’s relationship with the entire world, rather than the same “object of love” relationship.

6 If a person loves only one person and indifferent to others, his love is not love, but a symbiotic attachment or an enlarged egoism.

7 immature love because I need you, so I love you. Mature love because I love you, so I need you.

 

What are you living for?

Life is meaningless, but – each of us must establish a meaning for ourselves!

I have had several lectures, at Peking University and Tsinghua University, at military camps and prisons, in classrooms built in rural adobe, and at the most luxurious private schools in the United States …

In the face of people of all colors, from medical doctors to children in New York’s slums, I would bluntly talk about the idea of ​​the problem.

One of my memories is unforgettable.

It was a very prestigious university and asked me several times about it, saying the students were looking forward to discussing with me.

I have been pushing, I do not like to speak from the bones. Every promise of such a tolerance, it is inexplicable tension for several days.

However, the school is very persistent. At the Nth invitation, said that the students’ thinking in the school is even more active than that of Peking University. It raises extremely sharp questions for the speakers and often leads to frustration. Sometimes the speaker is simply gray Yo left the school.

Listening to them this way, my curiosity is motivated, and I say I am willing to accept the challenge.

So, we agreed on a date.

That day, the university auditorium packed full of people as I walked through the crowd to the podium, my heart filled with weird feeling, seems to be during the “Cultural Revolution” criticism meeting place, do not know what kind of scene will appear today .

Sure enough, from the very beginning of my speech, I kept sending me the slips of notes, and in a moment I accumulated a thick pile of leaves at my fingertips, as if autumn leaves swept by cleaners.

As I lectured, I was full of speculation and did not know what kind of “thinking bomb” lurked in the leaves.

Speaking to the end of the story and entering the stage of answering the question, I can not wait to open the pile of notes, reading one by one.

That moment, the audience becomes dead, huge auditorium, if nothing.

I read the note saying, Some praise me, I will not read it.

In addition, the most raised question on the note is – What is the point of life? Please be sure to tell the truth, because we have heard too many unreasonable lies.

After I finished reading this note, the audience burst into applause.

I said you raised the question today very well, I will tell the truth. I am on the snow-capped mountains of Ali in Tibet, facing the vast sky and the standing glaciers, as a primordial man with a grunt, repeatedly thinking about it.

I believe that when he was young, he would inquire yourself numerous times – what is the meaning of my life?

I thought countless nights and days and finally got an answer. Today, here, I will be very responsible to say to everyone, I think the result is: life is meaningless!

Finished this sentence, the audience appeared a brief silence, as the wilderness. However, a stormy round of applause ensued.

That was the warmest applause I had in my speech.

In the past, I never believed that there was such a thing as “stormy” applause and I thought it was a clumsy analogy. But this time, I believe it.

I quickly made a “suspended” hand gesture, but applause or a number of stretches of time.

I said, “Do not be busy giving me an applause and I have not finished my sentence yet, and I said that life is pointless, that’s good, but – each of us should establish a meaning for ourselves!”

“Yes, the discussion of the meaning of life is all around us, and many say that familiarity and repetition have allowed us to slip from being blind to being boring, but this is not the true nature of the problem.

The truth is that what others impose on you, no matter how correct, is that it will always be outside the body if it does not enter into your mental structure.

For example, we have been infused by parents since childhood, the meaning of life’s answer. In the long years since then, the admonished teachers and all kinds of education constantly renewed the wholesome version of their meaning to us.

However, how many people use this external framework as their own internal benchmark and set a lifelong determination for their struggle? ”

After that day’s conclusion, I heard some of my classmates say that he felt the greatest achievement was hearing a living middle age man personally say that life is meaningless and that you should establish a meaning for it.

In fact, not only are the young people in China erratic on the issue of their goal, they are also at Harvard University, a famous university in the United States. Many people can not establish their own goals in their youth.

I saw a material that when a Harvard graduate came out of school in a certain year, the school conducted a survey on their goals in life. As a result, 27% of them did not have a goal at all; Sixty people have ambiguous goals; 10% have short-term goals; and only 3% have clear and long-term goals.

Twenty-five years have passed, and three percent of them tirelessly worked hard toward one goal and become the elite of society. The rest, however, achieved much more difference in their accomplishments.

The reason why I mentioned this example is to illustrate that in the establishment of the goal of life, both Chinese and foreign youths have suffered a considerable degree of obscurity or chaos.

Someone would say, yes, so what? I can slowly grow while looking for their own meaning of life ah.

I also meet many young friends on weekdays and tell me about their misery.

After I listened patiently to the troubles that afflicted them, I left their eyes on begging for help. I would ask, “What is your goal in life?”

They are usually surprised, as if they doubt I understand their sorrows, or even exasperate why I turn a blind eye to specific problems, and interrogate them for such nonsense.

What is more, I thought I simply did not have the heart to listen to them to talk, he casually found a topic to stall.

I will greet their doubts, said: “Please answer my question, why do you live?

Young people are generally annoyed to say: “This is a big problem and I’m not at all connected with what I’m facing now.”

I would say: “You are wrong.” Everything in the world is related. Some people often think that the psychological things are only related to a single external stimulus. They actually talk about things in fact, and in fact they have close contact with the great goals of life. In fact, all the big goals of life appeared confused and offset. ”

70% of the disease and mood related to the common seven kinds of negative emotions how to resolve?

Fear, anxiety, guilt, depression, anger, depression … Everyone’s body has a map of emotions. Research shows that these emotions will bring psychological changes, more than 70% of people will eventually be emotionally on the body organs “attack.” “Cancer” is associated with prolonged resentment, often criticized people love arthritis … … According to statistics, the current emotional-related diseases have reached more than 200 kinds, in all affected people, more than 70% are emotional .

7 kinds of emotional wounds – the first: angry. Second place: sad. Third place: fear. Fourth place: melancholy. Fifth place: hostility. Sixth place: suspicious. Seventh place: seasonal out of control.

1, emotion is the body’s alarm signal

Now people say that one word is “tired”, not only tired and more tired heart. Survival pressure makes many people more and more emotional, some emotions did not even realize themselves, but the body has issued an early warning signal.

When people mood changes, often accompanied by a series of physiological changes. Such as horror will make pupils larger, thirsty, sweating, his face pale; and depression or over-tension, people will increasingly hate their appearance, feel how to wear, how to finish are not satisfactory, and then will I found my hair love oil, nose out of oil, upset sweat, and even lower body secretions abnormal or smelly. Psychiatrists say no matter if they are positive emotions or negative emotions, being unable to extricate themselves from emotions for a long time will adversely affect their health.

2, different emotions correspond to different diseases

Different emotions correspond to different physical diseases. Such as fear, anxiety can lead to abdominal pain; criticism, guilt trigger arthritis; suppressed lead to asthma; often angry people prone to bad breath, but also love abscess; fear can cause motion sickness and dysmenorrhea.

Gastrointestinal tract is considered to be the most able to express emotions of the organs, psychological fluctuations can be unpredictable. Among all psychosomatic diseases, gastrointestinal diseases are ranked first, such as gastric ulcer and duodenal ulcer, and about 10% of the world’s people have had the disease in their lifetime. Many people have the experience of having a stomachache or diarrhea in the face of stress and anxiety and can not afford to eat under stressful conditions. Drivers, police, journalists, emergency department doctors and other suffering from gastric ulcer the largest proportion.

Followed by the skin. For many people, itchy, scalp irritation, increased dandruff in irritability, poor hair loss and erratic urticaria, eczema and acne are all possible consequences of long-term bad mood.

The third is the endocrine system. Women’s ovaries, breasts, men’s prostate most vulnerable to adverse emotional impact. A large number of clinical studies have shown that as small as a cold, coronary heart disease and cancer, are closely linked with emotions.

People who are full of psychological contradictions, depression, and often feel unsafe and unpleasant, have low immunity, frequent cold and sore throat, nervous people who have headaches, high blood pressure and easily lead to cardiovascular diseases. The chance of cancer is three times the average person.

3, 7 kinds of emotions to run away wounding

First place: angry

“Mad at me!” This is a word people often talk about. From a health point of view, the five kinds of qi, grievances, sulking, anger and anger that not only make people feel bad, but also leave “bad record” in the body. Pale pale face, purple lips, hands and feet cold, over time, can lead to immune dysfunction, organ disease. In particular, poor health of the elderly, the moment of rising blood pressure, it is prone to stroke, heart disease and myocardial infarction.

System of anger: to get angry before you can close your eyes, imagine hanging in front of an “anger” word. “Anger” is the slave’s own heart, then give yourself psychological hint, do not be the slave of emotion. It is best not to be angry for more than 3 minutes, not blindly make a decision. Appropriate increase in fat and protein can calm the emotions, a spoonful of peanut butter a day is a good choice. At the same time, buckwheat, brown rice and other carbohydrates can also stimulate the secretion of compound amines, it is quiet.

Second place: sad

“The greatest harm to the heart than sad.” Cardiovascular experts told reporters, “Chafanbusi”, “drink alcohol worry” are too sad performance. At this point, the human sympathetic nervous system secretes a lot of stress hormones, will make arteries contract, easily lead to heart attack. When a person sad, often shortness of breath or even crying, can easily lead to lung damage.

Melancholy spirit: sadness can try to wear a smile, this “psychological fake action” is conducive to the release of bad emotions. Or use “Happy Memories,” think of some of the previous pleasures, divert attention, and be sad and talk to people. Whole-grain foods and foods rich in tryptophan can help you stay away from grief, such as fish, meat, black beans, pumpkin seeds and so on.

Third place: fear

“Fear of public interaction with people, horror film horror movie erection screamed.” Man in the face of threats, or may be injured instinct to produce a kind of emotion, which is the fear. It may derive many other emotions, such as tension, anxiety, fear, anxiety and so on. According to the survey, “fear of losing their job” is one of the most feared things for men. If you have been in a state of fear, you will feel flustered, shortness of breath, confusion or even syncope.

Anti-terrorism drugs: fear is a normal psychological reaction, without the pressure and burden. Try to calm down for the fear that has happened. Think of the worst outcome and confront it. Can also be listed in the various possible factors of their own fear, learn to face it. In addition, eating a piece of 40 grams of chocolate, can help ease the tension and fear emotions.

Fourth place: melancholy

Introverted, depressed, poor communication, poor self-solve ability … … This is a common feature of some cancer patients. Long-term depression, will lead to excessive adrenergic and corticosteroid production, accelerate the process of human aging. Many elderly people are easily “old and new” surrounded by the shadow of loneliness and melancholy, since their children are not on their retirement.

Wide-bodied pill: the face of depression can reverse thinking, see the good side of the problem, and actively seek a happy state of mind. Make friends to make their own attention transfer, and several friends under the chess, sing and sing Beijing opera or even dance a few dance are conducive to eliminate the depressed heart. In addition, magnesium has a stabilizing mood, eat bananas, apples, grapes, oats, etc., can improve the mood.

 

Fifth place: hostility

The pressure of work and life of modern people, daily exposure to all kinds of people, of which inevitably have “no deal”, it is easy to have negative emotions. Hostility can translate into anxiety, long-term accumulation can damage the immune system and, more seriously, lead to heart damage. Negative emotions are associated with a decline in lung function, which in turn speeds up the decline in elderly people’s lung function. In addition, hostile emotions can also cause heart disease, asthma and so on.

Friendly film: 80% of the hostile emotions can be overcome, trying to enlarge each other’s advantages, face social and workplace rules, think a little more work, less calculating interpersonal relationships. When the signs of hostile emotions, you can make yourself a cup of green tea, of which theanine helps calm emotions, to clarify ideas.

Sixth place: suspicious

Chinese are the most suspicious. There were some unpleasant things happening in the office, forced to contact with oneself; husband a few hours late, immediately suspected if he had a third party. People who are suspicious tend to feel lonely, lonely, flustered and anxious. Especially for some elderly people, they should also ponder on suspicion for a long time. Their daily nervousness can eventually lead to psychological breakdown, as well as loss of appetite and malnutrition due to sluggish sleep.

Antidote: If you feel suspicious of the emotional breeding, you can record a daily advantage, this will help to enhance self-confidence, improve the ability of others to face to face communication, reduce misunderstanding. Can also eat some seafood products, can improve the mood, eliminate the uneasy state.

Seventh place: seasonal out of control

Research shows that in the hot summer, about 10% of people are prone to emotional outbursts, frequent disputes and friction; in winter, depression will be more than usual. These emotional problems are collectively referred to as “seasonal emotional disorders,” people who are particularly sensitive to the environment and climate can experience anxiety or depression, and serious ones can cause the body’s normal function to decline.

Emotional valve: active adjustment of diet in the summer, with the movement of swimming and other negative emotions. Eat more vegetables and fruits in winter, more participation in outdoor activities, sun, improve indoor natural light, etc., are conducive to resolve negative emotions.

Girl blind date in the end should not bring girlfriends? There are 4 cases here

How many things have you done reasonably?

01

I remember two years ago there is a hit drama, called “Let’s get married,” which is the scene with the actress Peach is not with the girlfriend blue blue to blind date.

The result, the blind man did not fancy peaches, but fancy girlfriends blue not yet.

Although this is only a plot in the drama, this phenomenon is not uncommon in life.

Therefore, aside from the factors such as the age of occupation and other factors, just look at the appearance of this factor, the rational girl thinks that if the girlfriends than their beautiful, blind date certainly can not bring; if girlfriend than their pretty, you can bring together Blind date

Both of these situations are relatively simple, but there are two more complicated situations: neither you nor girlfriends, nor you and girlfriends are beautiful.

This time, you should take honey to blind date?

Before answering this question, let’s share a little story.

A professor from Tsinghua University went to the barber’s haircut next to Tsinghua University. The waiter said with enthusiasm that the shop had a $ 38 ordinary haircut and $ 68 director’s haircut and asked him what kind of service he needed.

Professor believes that 68 yuan more expensive than 38 yuan a lot, no need to let the director to cut their hair, so I chose the 38 yuan ordinary haircut.

Then again, the author went to another barber shop. The waiter told him that the shop has 38 yuan ordinary haircut, 68 yuan director haircut, 98 yuan senior director haircut, and 128 yuan manager haircut.

This time, the number of optional services changed from two to four, and the mentality of the professor changed.

He knows that services of $ 98 and $ 128 are not necessary, but the idea is not the same as the first one when we consider the two types of haircut services of $ 38 and $ 68.

One is that the cheapest choice of 38 yuan seems a bit embarrassed, the second is that what should not buy their own to buy the cheapest.

Finally, the professor chose 68 yuan director cut hair.

Although none of the new two options he had selected, both of these options caused him to interfere with the first two options.

Why do professors at the time of the first haircut, did not choose 68 yuan director cut it?

This is where the “trade-off effect” in economics works.

Professor Cheng Yuh-huang, the professor of the story, the author of “Rational Irrationality,” believes that when people encounter many different options, they prefer to choose one of the compromises instead of choosing a more extreme solution. Is the so-called compromise effect.

In other words, people often do not evaluate the price / performance of a product objectively when shopping for something, but just choose one of the different options to look good.

This is an irrational act that happens to rational people. Even a savvy economist can not escape the robbery.

02

The professor’s haircut example tells us that the more choices, the more factors interfere with our choices and the easier it is for us to make irrational decisions.

Therefore, if you want to make a good impression on the blind date partner when considering whether to bring the girlfriend to blind date, you should stand on the blind date and consider each other’s psychological activities in the face of the choice.

The book “Rational Irrationality” mentions two types of assessment people often make when making choices: separate assessment and joint assessment.

Individual evaluation model is in the case of no comparison, because there is no reference, people are more concerned about the evaluation of the object itself is not good.

For example, in front of the example of hair styling professor, if the waiter did not give too many choices, only given a $ 38 haircut service, you may only trade the price of the service itself, in order to decide whether to buy services .

However, if there is more than one reference, people will enter a co-evaluation model with comparative objects. At this time, people’s attention falls on the assessment object is better than other reference objects.

Therefore, if you look good with girlfriends, you should not bring girlfriends to blind date.

Because if you bring girlfriends, then the other party is easy to enter the joint assessment model, that although you look good, but it is not more beautiful than the other girls, the impression of you is also discounted.

At this point you need to try to get each other into a separate evaluation mode, you should not go with girlfriends.

And if you and girlfriends are not looking good, you should bring girlfriend to accompany you blind date.

Because the other party to enter the joint assessment model will feel that although you look ordinary, but it is not worse than other girls, it is acceptable, thus enhancing your impression.

03

Faced with choices and multiple choices, people are often influenced by external factors, resulting in irrational behavior.

So, if we have only one choice, is not it more rational?

Not long ago, my friend L birthday, bought myself a more than 1,000 headsets, I was surprised.

Because two months ago I and L had just seen the headset in the mall, then, the headset just on the market, businesses have also done promotional activities – presented a two-year warranty.

L studied quite a few of these products, and he knows that the headset is better than any of the headphones he has ever used, and many of the new features are also very appealing.

However, at that time, L did not buy the headset, because the price of more than 1,000 yuan made him feel very extravagant.

Unexpectedly, L birthday two months later, he did not hesitate to buy this headset, the price is the same as the original, or even no longer give two years warranty service.

L told me that this is his birthday gift to himself, since it is a birthday present, luxury is not excessive.

The same headset, less service, why usually will not buy, birthday will buy it?

This is what psychoanalytic theories play.

The concept of mental accounts is proposed by behavioral economist Richard Saale. In addition to the actual, economic accounts of bank accounts, he argues, in the minds of mankind, there is another type of virtual account in which people psychologically divide the objectively equivalent expenditures or benefits in reality In different accounts.

In short, people will be in their minds for the establishment of various deposits “account”, each classified, different treatment, in order to control and manage their own consumer behavior.

This process usually directly affects the decision-making, but often not easy to be aware of.

The same is idle cash on hand, many people will have their own daily expenses have an account planning, birthday spending will have an account planning.

More than 1,000 yuan of headsets, as a daily expense, people tend not to buy, but as their birthday gift spending, many people will be able to accept.

This phenomenon, life is also very common to double eleven shopping as an example.

The earliest time, people choose to chop in two eleven crazy, mostly because of the day shopping is very cheap.

But now, more and more people have found that the price of a lot of double eleven many in fact is not much cheaper than usual, but people will still spend a lot of money on this day.

This is because today’s Double 11 is more like being a shopping carnival and a festival to satisfy oneself. Those who do not usually spend much money on this day will be treated differently treat.

After reading this article, you can still patted the chest that he has been very rational?

In fact, re-rational people, in making choices and making decisions, are subject to valuation patterns, trade-offs and psychological accounts, which has facilitated the expansion of profits for many businesses.

People who understand and can apply these kinds of economic theories are the biggest winners.

Next time blind date, remember to think about using economic thinking, whether it should be with girlfriends or their buddies.

The best psychology masters are how to treat love?

Love is an eternal topic, mortal experience as I wait, in the study, of course, psychologists are also the focus of research.

So much psychological big coffee, they study themselves, study others, produced a lot of analysis and interpretation of love.

Today, the article we reprint summarizes the views of seven psychologists on love.

You may not agree with all of your views, and you may even find it quite exciting. However, these different perspectives and different interpretations will inspire us to at least let us know that some people understood love as such.

People do not agree, love is naturally diverse.

Weekend, come together to talk about love this important “romantic little thing”. PS. Personal favorite, or Fromm’s point of view 🙂

Master of British object-relation theory. In the psychoanalysis after Freud, Winnipeg has an extraordinary spirit of innovation and a unique perspective.

He is far from Freud’s emphasis on instinct and writes a number of books on how mother-child interactions nourish or hinder child development.

The perfect relationship between partners is: nest in the lover’s arms alone.
* “One Mind” Interpretation: Even if the two people have nothing to say it does not matter, relatively silent, temporarily silent, you can lie quietly in each other’s arms lonely, which is the ultimate manifestation of mutual trust between the two is The highest level.

02    Carl Gustav Jung

Swiss psychologist. In 1907, he began to work with Freud to develop and popularize the theory of psychoanalysis for six years. Afterward, he discredited the concept of Freud and went so far as to establish Jung’s theory of personality analysis psychology. His theories and thoughts still exert far-reaching influence on psychology research.

No matter who you are, you fall, I would like to fall with you. One is brave, not ventured, nothing is lost. The other is assured, even if there is no harm.
The encounter of two souls is like the contact of two chemical substances: a little reaction will completely change them.
Loneliness does not come from nobody around. The real reason to feel lonely is because one can not communicate with others the most important feelings about it.

03    ErichFromm

American German Jewish. Humanistic philosopher and psychoanalytic psychologist. Devoted all his life to revising Freud’s psychoanalytic theory in order to meet the Westerners’ mental state after the two world wars. His theory of psychoanalysis has an influence on the world.

Love has nothing to do with maturity. If you do not work hard to develop all your personality, then every endeavor of love will fail. If you do not love the power of others, and you can not love others humbly, sincerely and disciplinedly, Life will never be satisfied.

If I love others, I should feel consistent with him, and accept his true colors. Instead of asking him to be what I want so that I can use him as a target of use.

The most important thing is to learn to be alone, and do not read books, do not listen to radio, do not smoke, do not drink. There is no ability to focus on whether you can stand alone, and this ability is a condition to learn to love.

Because we can not be self-reliant, we can only connect ourselves with another person. This person may be the savior of my life, but the relationship has nothing to do with love.

Love is not, first of all, the relationship of the same particular person; it is an attitude, a tendency of character. This attitude, personality tendencies determine a person’s relationship with the entire world, rather than the same “object of love” relationship.

If a person loves only one person and indifferent to others, his love is not love, but a symbiotic attachment or an enlarged egoism.

Immature love: Because I need you, so I love you. Mature love: Because I love you, so I need you.

04     Rowland Miller

Sam Houston State University psychology professor. He has taught intimacy at the University since 1978 and was awarded the Edwin B. Newman Award from the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Psi Chi International Society for Psychology.

His Intimacy, co-authored with Daniel Perlman, is both professional and readable. Anyone who wants to get a satisfying relationship can be inspired.

We always like those who like us.
Intimacy to meet the secret:
Appreciate your partner

Express your gratitude

Repeat these two steps

Partners can play together for a longer time together.
Men are focused on looks, women are focused on resources, but both expect their partner to be friendly, easy-going, lovely, and friendly.

05 Irvin Yalom

American group psychotherapy authority, contemporary master of psychiatry, existentialist therapy one of the three representatives. Stanford University psychiatrist lifetime honorary professor. Many of his writings not only inspire psychotherapists, but also won the general reader’s favorite.

Marriage, and the consequent possession and jealousy, only enslave souls.
We love desire more than the desire of the object more!
The kind of love I dream of is the passion shared by two people in pursuit of some higher truth. Perhaps I should not call it for love, perhaps, its real name is friendship.
The problem is not with the appearance of sex, but with things that make things disappear – something of more value.

Marriage should not be a prison, but a field that gives birth to something higher.

06     JaquesLacan

The French psychiatrist and the most independent and most controversial European psychoanalyst after the Second World War are known as the “Freudian in France.”

Love is different from desire, because the purpose of love is not for satisfaction, but for love.
The presence of love or the presence of an object opens up a gap within the subject, leaving the subject to feel ashamed of its own existence or absence, but also ecstatic with the body of its precious and marvelous qualities, helping to suture his rifts .

07     Sigmund Freud

God does not introduce, four words: fine points originator.

Mental health, always hard work and love. As long as these two things can be done, there is no other problem.
We are longing for love, and sometimes we are almost desperately throwing the love in our hands. There seems to be a desolate night in the heart of man, to the dark, lonely self.
The least fortified when we love.
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39-year-old French president and his 63-year-old wife, why love more than twenty years?